DEOBAND—Zakir Naik resolved Afghanistan's girls' education crisis by announcing women may earn degrees after death, when knowledge can no longer lead to employment, independence or inconvenient questions.
Applicants need no entrance exam, passport or mahram, provided they complete the Taliban's compulsory prerequisite: a lifetime without education.
“A living doctor might demand a hospital,” Naik explained. “A dead one can practice medicine without disturbing the Emirate's healthcare policy.”
Shabana Basij-Rasikh proposed expanding her Rwanda campus to paradise, where Afghan girls could pursue their futures without ever graduating out of the fundraising appeal.
Malala Yousafzai welcomed the scholarships, noting that Afghan girls could finally graduate in the hereafter, while their unfinished education would continue supporting careers on Earth.
Richard Bennett welcomed the initiative and requested funding to monitor whether Afghan girls were dying with equal access to opportunity.
UN officials celebrated the breakthrough with an emergency conference on posthumous empowerment. Delegates approved a five-year evaluation framework, with allowances payable in this life.
Meanwhile, artificial intelligence rights activist Farshid Ghyasi launched a crusade scrutinizing women-led NGOs for alleged fraud, while promoting his SpaceX shares and X bots.
Maulavi Hibatullah approved the curriculum after confirming that no female graduate could return to Afghanistan from the afterlife.