TorshiTHE DAILY BRINE

AFGHANISTAN

Security Briefing Defeats al-Qaeda by Moving It to the Appendix

The executive summary remains entirely peaceful.

By Chinaar
Men sit around a meeting table covered with papers and tea glasses.
The briefing is comprehensive, provided nobody turns the page.

Reports of al-Qaeda regrouping in Afghanistan have encountered a decisive response from the Taliban ruling group's latest security briefing: the group has been moved to the appendix.

The main document now records uninterrupted stability. Anyone requesting further detail is referred to a supplementary volume, available from the same office that confirms no further detail is necessary.

A briefing officer proposed mentioning the reports during questions. The chair ruled that questions belonged after the meeting, which had already been declared a success.

For next month's presentation, the appendix will be printed separately. Officials expect this to put even greater distance between Afghanistan and the threat.

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